Medieval Faire

We went to a medieval faire in Gainesville yesterday. Had a really good time. It wasn't one of the big solid structure ones, just one that is there for a couple of weekends. It was very good considering that though.

I woke up last night when my wife turned over and faced me. She sorta snuggled up to me and held me. Maybe she does love me still. That gave me the most wonderful feeling of being loved that I haven't had in a long time. I felt bad when I had to get up, because I knew that it would wake her up and I didn't want to wake her up this morning. She slept through most of me getting ready for work, but when I had to turn on the bathroom light she woke up and decided to get up 15 minutes early. I guess I need to get to work doing something.

Sunday

Ever wonder what your day will hold for you? It seems like I wonder every day. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I was psychic. At least then I would know whats going on around me.
We are going to a cultural event today so my wife can do a report on it for one of her classes. I hope I can forget some of what is going on in my life and enjoy the day.
I got a dark chocolate candy the other day that had a little saying on the inside. "Make every moment count" I hope I can do that.

Depressed

Had a wonderful morning today. Wife wanted to go grocery shopping so our youngest invited herself along. I figured I'd go along to keep her out of mom's hair and was told by my wife that she would rather go alone. When she left she took our youngest with her. Not very alone. I can only figure that she didn't want to be around me. So now in the past 3 months, she has told me that she no longer loves me, the only reason she hasn't left me is because she has nowhere else to go, and today that she doesn't want me around her. What's next?

Flu Shots

I just had to get a flu shot. Only it wasn't a shot it was a nasal mist thing. Screw that! It sucks! Give me a shot with a needle next time!! That crap is still running down my throat. I can't beleive how bad it is. I may have to go puke real soon.

Friday

Well it's another fine morning here on the Space Coast. At least it is warming up. It is foggy out though. Not much to say today really. I did get a comment from Miss Marisol as you can see. I thank her for her comments. The way my marraige is turning out is not how I wanted it. As for being a patient man, no I'm not. I think I have become a sucker or doormat over the years. I just don't know what she wants anymore. I do know that I still love her.

Early Day

I hate getting up early. I woke up at 0430 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I finally got out of bed at 10 till 0500 and had my coffee. I have to be at work at 0600 anyway though so I guess 10 minutes early isn't too bad. Unfortunately my body tends to wake up early on weekends also. No sleeping in for me!

It looks like the individual that my wife is "friends" with is going back overseas for a job. He should be gone at least a year. I guess I just have to contend with her emailing, texting, and calling him. Maybe he will get shot or blown up. Real nice thoughts yeah I understand. I don't care anymore.

My wife is going in for a facial today so I guess I won't be going home for lunch since I would be there by myself. Maybe I'll go to the chow hall. I don't really want to go to Burger King. Actually I do, but I would like to lose a few pounds to get rid of the fat around my waist.

Why do I still love my wife so much even though she does this to me?

Lonesome

Feeling a bit lonely today. It is still cold here. Someone forgot to pay the damn heat bill for Florida! Still having evil thoughts about someone having an accident. Also about them overdosing on illegal drugs. I would probably dance a jig if that happened. I know thats terrible of me to think, but Oh well. It's between me and God when the time comes. My hands and fingers are so cold I can barely type. I think they have the AC running instead of the heat. It must be time to move further South!

Blah

Went to PT this morning. We had to run outside. That sucked ass. It was cold and with the wind blowing in off the water it just sucked. Had some evil thoughts this morning. I guess wishing someone would overdose on drugs constitutes not being nice. I also thought that a nice big semi hitting him at a high rate of speed. Why am I having these thoughts now? Because my wife who used to make fun of women who got all done up with make up and coordinated gym outfits, has become one of them. SHe also has started wearing perfume to the gym. Why? According to the "How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you" guide, That is one of the major warning signs. I wonder how much a Private Investigator would charge. Is it really worth it? Should I just tell her to get out with no hard evidence? I wish I knew what to do.

Trust

How long does it take to trust someone after they have cheated on you?

Morning

It's another fine morning here on the Space Coast. Cold as shit though. Somebody forgot to pay the heat bill here! I like two weeks ago much better, considering that I went to the beach and watched the women in bikinis watching the surf competition. I even managed to get sunburnt!

Sometimes I wish I didn't know what I know. Ever get that desire? Sort of like when you walk in your bedroom and find out your Grandma came for a visit and was changing clothes? Just wish you could get that out of your head. I wish I didn't know that my wife was cheating on me. I wish I could turn the clock back and not find out. Just can't do that though. Time to go to work I guess.

Freaking!

My wife just called a few minutes ago freaking out because she couldn't find the tape converter thing that allows us to play the videocamera tapes in a VCR. I told her the last place I saw it and she very abrubtly informed me that she had already checked there and everwhere else. So I told her to hook the camera up to the TV with the supplied cables. That was a tough one to talk her through. She wanted to know what cable went where. How hard is red to red, white to white, and yellow to yellow? Whee!

Plans

I have decided to skip lunch at home today. I am going to go have Chinese somewhere instead. I just don't feel like going home and being ignored by my wife at lunch. I'm not even going to tell her where I am going, unless for some strange reason she calls me and asks about lunch. Which is highly unlikely. She can eat her "PowerBar" and enjoy her alone time like she wants. In fact, if I stay a little late after work I may only have to see her for a half hour or so before she leaves for school. I don't think she will even say anything to me. Is it me? Or is it something else? I wish I could read minds. Life would be so much simpler if I knew what she was thinking.

Bad Morning

It wasn't a pleasant morning on the Space Coast today. Alarm went off, I tried to snuggle up with my wife, she decided she had to get up right then, so I did too. When I was headed around the bed to the bathroom we met, I tried to give her a hug, she forcefully sidestepped me and wouldn't give me a hug. She had something better to do than spend 10 seconds on me. Yep I feel loved. So me being the petty person I am, when I took my shower I locked the door so I could shower in peace. She came and tried the door then got upset enough that she had to go find a small tool to unlock it from outside. By the time she got it unlocked I was almost done. When she stepped into the shower I stepped out of the shower. I got dressed and woke up my daughter for school, grabbed all my stuff and went in and gave her a kiss and told her I Loved Her then came to work. I am only about a half hour early to work. To say I was upset and hurt would be an understatement. I don't know what is up with her, but I don't know how much farther I am willing to bend to try to keep her. I Love Her very much, but if she doesn't love me any longer what can I do but let her go?

Depressing

Starting to get depressed again. I keep thinking that my wife no longer loves me enough to even acknowledge me when I tell her goodbye and I Love You. I had to tell her twice that I Loved Her when I came back to work from lunch before she finally said it to me. I realize that marraige isn't easy, but shouldn't it be easy to tell your best friend/spouse that you love them? I mean it's like pulling teeth or something. I guess she could be tired of faking it and is going to leave me very soon. I just wish I knew what was going through her head.

Women

What is it about women that make men become drooling idiots? I mean is it something we learn from society, or is it in our genes? I realize that in different societies and different times, different things are found to be sexy or erotic. To me there is no woman that is ugly. She might be overweight with hairy moles all over her face, but if she is a good person then there is a place in the world for her. On the other hand, there are some women who have amzing looks and bodies to drool for, but they are not a very nice person. Those I can pass on and not even think about anymore. The women that I truly love are the beautiful ones that are honestly sweet caring women. That is why I married my wife. Maybe she is getting a little older now, but to me I still see her as a beautiful woman that is sexy as hell! I need to take a picture of her butt and put it on that website! She has spent enough time in the gym for her to get some good ratings, even if she doesn't think so!

Thursday

I got depressed again yesterday. Don't know why just did. After my wife went to school I broke out the vodka. It didn't help. It feels like my wife is pulling away from me again and I don't know why. On a good note from yesterday, I didn't have to get the rectal exam I thought I would. I don't think the doctor really wanted to do it since he was running late and it was past time for lunch. He did do an EKG on me. Whee. Can't they make some of those sticky things that don't pull the hair when you remove them? Hell I was thinking about shaving my chest after that!! He did put me on Flonase for this throat cough thing I have had for 5 years or so. I guess he thinks it is allergies. I wonder what allergy I have. Time to go for now.

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Checkups

Damn I hate medical checkups!! I have one today and was informed that since I am 35 it will be a full checkup. You know "turn your head and cough" "Relax I need to check your prostate" So this should be a whole shitload of fun! I don't know how I will contain my excitement.

Perfume

Whats the deal with women who use so much damn oerfume it chokes everything else out? I was walking past Burger King smelling the burgers cooking when a woman walked by me with so much perfume on that I couldn't smell the burgers!! WHY?!?! Are they trying to cover up how much their ass smells instead of takling a bath?

Good Morning

Had a pretty good night last night. Come to think of it, yesterday was a pretty good day. My wife sent me a link to a website, www.ratethatass.com or something like that. I don't remember the exact link, but I spent a few minutes there rating butts. Some were very nice. After that I did some studying for my WAPS test while my wife did some studying for her college classes. After about two hours I was tired of reading that extremely dry stuff so I dug out a copy of Hustler Fantasies and "studied" it for awhile. When my wife noticed what I was studying I started reading to her. Messed up her studying badly! :) It was fun! Then last night I had her grabbing my hair and riding my face for an hour or so. I didn't even bother to wash my face afterwards, just went to sleep happy!! Time to go. Later!

Dreams

Seems funny what I can remember about my dreams. Lately all my dreams have involved me, my wife, and various other women. Blondes, brunettes, redheads. You get the idea. Now in my dreams, I am always fucking my wife from behind while she is eating the other woman's pussy or getting her pussy licked while I fuck her ass. Fairly standard dreams for horny men right? Makes for a painful morning. Dicks been hard all night, balls are so blue they hurt. No relief from my wife though! She doesn't do morning sex. Never has. I love morning sex though, nothing else can get me going and put me in a happy mood all day! Lately though our sex life has been nonexistent anyway. Any ladies out there like morning sex? What is your views on this?

Long Weekend

Not much to put here today. My wife had her second class last night at college. Psychology. That should be interesting. I have a long weekend this weekend. It is getting ready to start as soon as I finish this and post it. Too bad its supposed to rain all weekend. Maybe the weathermen will be wrong. Oh well, time to head home.

Lunch

Got a surprise phone call today. My wife called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with her. Took me by surprise. Is she trying to make amends, is it a peace offering? I don't know what her motivation was, but we went to a local eatery and enjoyed a good lunch in each others company. Maybe things will vastly improve in the near future.

Another day sober

Being sober isn't always fun. Sometimes I wish I could just start drinking again like I used to. Back when I didn't think I would live past 25. Its a good thing I made some mistakes and then met my wife or I would be dead by now.

I wish my wife wouldn't join me in the shower in the mornings unless she was willing to give it up. That is very hard, in more ways than one, to cope with. Like this morning, she doesn't go to the gym on Wednesdays but she came in the shower this morning with me. Being the dutiful husband, I washed her back, which caused me to have a large amount of blood flow to a certain portion of my anatomy, especially since she was moving her butt back and forth against it. I am starting to wonder if she is doing it on purpose to tease me. Blue balls hurt.

Did I mention that she gave me a Playstation 2 for Christmas? One of the new ones. Its about an inch or so thick. Big size difference. So anyway since my birthday is so close to Christmas, I usually get the Christmas/Birthday gifts. Basically people are too cheap to buy gifts for both and think I won't notice or call them out about it. Believe me I do. So what did I get for my birthday? A pair of Flip Flops, some socks, and some underwear. Hmmm. I keep threatening to give people Birthday/Christmas presents. I am going to have to follow up on it I think.

Tuesday

Had a lovely morning so far. Had mandatory PT at the gym. No surprise there, we do it every Tuesday. It started raining so we had to stay inside and do wind sprints and suicides on the basketball court. My legs are so pumped up now they are starting to hurt. This afternoon I want to go play racquetball. It has been a few weeks since I actually played so it should be painful also.

Well last night was my wifes first night of college. She was nervous because it has been 9 years since she took a class. Before she left she was laying down on the bed trying to decide what to wear. I climbed up over her and hovered for a minute until she said she had to get up. I decided to wait until she actually touched me to move. It took her a few minutes until she finally started to, the she pulled away reall quick before she actually touched me. I figure that she doesn't want to touch me anymore. Oh well, she has made her decision, now I just have to decide if I am willing to have a platonic relationship with my wife or not. I wish my preacher hadn't just left for Oklahoma.

Monday

Well I guess I had a pretty good weekend. For my birthday I got some flip flops from my wife and socks and underwear from my daughters. So now I am officially 35 years old, and I didn't even get any sex for my birthday. Lots of fun. At least my wife played video games with me. Whoo hoo! Alright I admit that was fun. She starts college again tonight. She will be going three nights a week. M, W, & F from 1800-2045 hours. That means I have to learn my youngests schedule and make her lunches and feed her dinner, make her take baths, etc. I told my wife to write up a task list so that I wouldn't forget anything.

Yesterday I made my littlest ride bikes with me up to the gas station so I could air her tires up properly. I did mine while I was there. Then we rode over to the beach and just watched the Atlantic ocean for a bit. There weren't any bikinis out running around where I could see them though, and my little one found a few shells she liked and decided it was time to go home so we went back.

My wife saw some article about Denise Richards posing for the December Playboy, so I had to go dig it out and take a look. I handed it to her then so she could look. I was impressed. Evidently the pictures were taken 3 months after having given birth. She looked good. Time to go to work I guess.

Bad news

Found out today that the chaplain I have been talking to is leaving. That sucks. I haven't been particularly comfortable with the other chaplains so I guess I won't be talking to any chaplains in the near future. Too bad.

7 Jan 05

Another day another nickel. I need to make rank so I can get some more money. Me and a couple other guys took a looong lunch yesterday and went to a surf competition about an hour down the road. A digital camera was brought. I have never in my life seen that much fine stuff in really small bikinis in one spot in my life!!! We were only there for an hour and they took more than 70 pictures. Baywatch had nothing on Sebastian Inlet yesterday! Anyway when I got home and changed out of my uniform, I went and gave my wife a kiss and the first thing she says is, "So you put sunscreen on today?" Damn, busted! So I told her that since she blew me off for lunch we fellas went down to the beach to see what was going on. After dinner I showed her the pictures. She laughed and called us dogs. Oh well. At least she laughed about it. Well I turn old again tomorrow. 35 years old. Maybe my age is finally going to catch up with my gray hair. My wife says it makes me look distinguished. Yayy! What I really want to be. Oh well time to go for now.

another day

Today is another day. The holidays were ok, we went to my mother-in-laws house for a week. wheee! Thats where we always go. We never go see my family. It has been 3 years since we went to my hometown and saw my family. The only reason we went then was because my grandfather died. So far my wife is showing me very little attention now, and what she does seems forced. Sex is out altogether. It was toward the beginning of December that we last had sex, and she was so much fun then that I would have been happier jerking off!! I mean come one! When I ask what she would like and she says "Whatever. It doesn't matter" That just kills my desire. She doesn't want me to spoon with her or hold her either. It's starting to get frustrating. I can go without sex with her, but I do need some affection and friendship from her. She keeps telling me that I ignored her for years and now that it is affecting me is when I try to change. I never thought I was ignoring her, she said she wanted to do this or do that and I had other things to do so we went separately to do our things. Now she says I am following her around and crowding her not giving her enough space. Make up your fucking mind!!!! I try to come home for lunch to spend time with her, but she has conveniently started having errands to do at lunchtime. So I don't see her all day while I am at work, and when I come home after work and try to spend time with her I am crowding her. I am beginning to think that I am just a meal ticket for her until something better comes along. Does the last 13 years not account for anything? I guess I should start working through lunch or at least not going home for lunch. Of course then she will start saying I am ignoring her again. I don't think I will ever win. Maybe I need to get a good lawyer now.