Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Depression

What defines depression? Is it when I read or see anything about military members or veterans dying from an IED or suicide and I start crying? The alcohol doesn't help anymore. Every time I hear about one I wonder if it is someone I know.

When I was a young lad on my first assignment in Germany my room mate tried to kill himself because he "missed a movement" which means he wasn't on the truck when the advance team left to go on a deployment. We didn't know it until several days later when the german hospital people finally got through to us where we were. I never thought Kevin would even think about it let alone try it. He was happy and jolly and everyone liked him. He ended up being in the hospital for several months before they let him come back to the unit. His actions made it impossible for him to re-enlist and he went back to Wisconsin at the end of his enlistment. It sucked, I liked him, he was a great room mate. About 4 months later the hallway phone rang in the middle of the night, his fathr called me to tell me that he had tried again and succeeded. I was 20 years old and didn't know what to say. I didn't go back to bed, I just sat on my couch until it was time to go in. No one else could believe that he had committed suicide.

I still wonder to this day why he did it. He had so much going for him. Did something happen when he got home that sent him down the path to this end? 25 years and I still wonder what he would have done with his life. Would he change the world? Would he marry the woman of his dreams and have several children? Would one of them become president? Would they save the world from alien invaders? What would it have been like if he had not killed himself? Why did he have to waste it all?

Tell your pookie that you love them and make a nice day.

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