Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Last Time we were Happy Together


I was playing with her butt when the picture was taken. I reckon that's why she was smiling.

Me


I'm the blurry one on the left looking at the camera.

After Lunch

Well my wife was gone when I got home for lunch. Unfortunately the ring wasn't on the dresser either. I don't know if she has decided that she wants to keep it or has already sold it, or forgot and left it at her friends house. Maybe she wants to talk about it later on tonight. I guess I will see tonight what she has to say. Hmmm.

SPAM

Sorry folks but I had to turn on the word verification for comments because I was starting to get a lot of SPAM in the comments. When I feel that it has had time to stop and go away I will turn off the verification stuff.

The Ring

Well I got a little story about the ring, but it will wait for a few minutes. Yesterday I left work early so that I could go home and try to figure out my homework before class since we had a quiz scheduled. When I got there, she was making dinner for tonight so that she would be ahead of the game. After she had that started she started on last nights dinner. My nephew wasn't home, so I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it while making small talk in the kitchen with my wife. When my nephew got home I got him to help me with my homework. Then we ate dinner then it was back to homework before I had to leave for class. I didn't finish my homework. I got to class and everyone else is there asking me, "Did you get them all?" Evidently I have been elected as the top math geek for the class. They were very dissappointed when I told them that I didn't and that I had been hoping they would have them so I could copy from them. Uh Oh. So the instructor comes in early, and I start asking him to do some of the problems before class started, so we started class about 5 minutes early. We ended up getting him to do almost all the problems. We didn't ask questions about the easy ones though. Good thing too, because the quiz he gave us came from two homework questions in the book. Both were really easy and I was done in 5 minutes. Kinda upset me that I worked so hard on the homework to just have the easy questions for a quiz. Course since I got a 100 on it, I'm happy and I won't complain. After class I went home and talked with the nephew for a little while then my wife came home and we all conversed for a little while. I went to bed and watched tv about 9:45. My wife came in and did some stuff about 10, then went back out and studied I presume. I finally turned the tv off about 1030 and fell asleep. My wife came in a little after midnight and did what I presume was her nightly routine. Then took the blanket and her pillow out with her to the couch. I heard the back door open and assumed she went out for the night. 10 minutes later I heard her cough, so I guess she didn't go out last night. Whoopee! Hang with me a little longer I'm getting there. I get up this morning and go in the kitchen, feed the cat, and get my coffee. She gets up off the couch and goes in the bedroom and lays down in bed. I know the couch is uncorftable, but it is her choice. I'm not forcing her to sleep there. After I finish my coffee I go shave and shower and get ready for work, then wake her up so she can get our daughter going. Before I left this morning I asked her if she was going to be home at lunch. She told me that she would probably be going up to the school. She told me to come in the bedroom, where I told her that I didn't think she would ever want to be my "wife" again, so she was done wearing my ring. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She got a tear in her eye, and I told her to please put it on my dresser. Then I left. I didn't look back either. So I guess I will find out if she put it on my dresser when I go home for lunch or if she will be there wanting to talk to me. I reckon I'll see then.

I keep forgetting to post those pictures, but I promise I will post my ugly face soon, so if you have a nice monitor you might want to find one that you don't mind getting broken by my ugly mug. You've been warned.

Make a nice day!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Lunch

Well lunch was lonely. I tried to do some homework but couldn't figure it out. Got nosy and decided to look for the ring again. I ended up finding her old cell phone. So I powered it on and checked her contacts. I got a name and there were lots of different numbers. The name came from a text message that she sent to this individual. I'll call him by his initials AA. From the text message he is deployed to the desert right now. So she probably isn't spending time with him currently. I got back to work and looked him up in email, bang there he is. An E-7 at one of the rescue squadrons. He is a PJ. Those of you familiar with the AF know that a PJ is our Special Ops guys. So if I end up having to kill this guy I better do it from a long distance with a really good rifle. Maybe I should just talk to my First Sergeant and let her talk to his. That would probably be better. Keep me out of jail. Course maybe he is just a "friend" also. I gotta get that ring back.

Nope not today

Can't really think of anything worth writing today. I had a tough time with my homework last night and couldn't figure it out. I finally gave up. My wife and I had a quiet dinner together. Not because she wanted to, but circumstances caused it. Our daughter was over at a friends house and the nephew went straight from school to his job. So we ate spaghetti together and talked a little bit. I do have a problem now though. We were supposed to go to a wedding this Sunday. Now she tells me that she won't be going with me. Great. This is a really nice wedding, formal and all. It is too late to tell the bride and groom that my wife isn't coming so that they wouldn't have to pay for an extra meal that won't be eaten. She went out again last night before our nephew got home. I figure he knows something isn't right, but is too polite to ask about it. Considering that when she comes back she sleeps on the couch. I didn't hear her come back last night and had to check and see if she was out there before I left for PT this morning. I didn't want to leave my daughter asleep at home and her not be there to wake her up and take her to school. After I got back from PT my wife left for school pretty soon after that. My nephew told me that he saw the printout of a condo for rent that I had brought home for my wife. He doesn't know that I brought it home for her, and must have thought it was for him. I hope he doesn't think I am trying to get him to move out. He's actually a considerate roommate as far as that goes. I need to get to work. Make a nice day.

Monday, August 29, 2005

I'm back

Well I had a pretty good time at DisneyWorld. On Tuesday I planned to go directly to the hotel my friend was staying at after my class let out. I still felt guilty about not taking my daughter or family, such as it is, and ended up going home before I went over. I made sure my daughter got her shower and stuff before I left. My nephew was home watching her, because my wife and I both have class on Tuesday evenings. I left shortly after that. I got to the hotel about 9:30. We talked about stuff till almost 1 am. About 10 I had called to let her know that I arrived safely, but she wasn't home. My nephew told me that she had called and said she would be home late. Great. So the next day we went to the land of the rat. We had a good time. I took almost 70 pictures. We tried to avoid Fantasyland because of the ride that has the song that gets stuck in your head. We ended up having to go past it though, so I had my friend take a picture of me in front of it. I intend to post it here as proof that I smiled while I was there. We rode everything that we could. Space Mountain was fun. We rode Splash Mountain twice. The first time I took a picture as we crested the top for the plunge into the water. The picture that they took showed me taking a picture. I was going to get a copy of it, but they wated $17 for an 8x10. I don't think so. My friends girlfriend enjoyed the Haunted Mansion ride also so we rode it twice also. We also rode the Carousel just as you enter FantasyLand. We laughed and had fun. We didn't leave till right as the fireworks started at 9 pm. We wanted to get out before the crowds. We took the ferry back across and got to watch the fireworks from it. I tried to get pictures of them, but I didn't turn the flash off so nothing came out real good. I know stupid of me. Oh well. I had sent a text message to my wife to find out how my daughter was doing and to give her a hug and kiss from me before bed. That was my contact with her on Wednesday. Thursday we came back to my house. The hurricane was kicking the waves up and it was windy as all get out on the beach when we stopped there before going to the house. We were standing there when someone comes up behind us then starts running back toward the parking lot. I turned and looked and it was my wife. I whistled at her, and then she came back complaining that the sand was getting in her eyes because she didn't have any sunglasses. I took her to my car and got my second pair out. She visited with us a few minutes then we decided to go ahead and head to the house. I wonder now if she saw me and tried to get away before I saw her, so that she didn't have to deal with me. Oh well. My friend saw the video games I have for PS2 and he and his girlfriend started playing. They were enjoyed themselves the rest of the day. I went to school and when I got back, they were still playing and having a good time. I went in the bedroom and my wife came in there. We got to talking and I asked her if she had started looking at possible jobs yet. That started a whole "discussion". We ended up being in the bedroom the rest of the night trying to be quiet and talk things out. I felt bad because I unintentionally ignored my friend. He knows what is going on though, so he said it was ok. During the night I got cold and laid up next to her. I didn't spoon her just put my side up against her back and butt. She complained about me pushing her to the edge. I told her that if she would quit scooting away from me, and just let me get warm, I would move away in just a short time. Then she wouldn't be laying on the edge of the bed. Yesterday she told me I had cursed at her and that I do it all the time. I'm sorry but no I don't. So Friday was pretty much relax at the house. My friends girlfriend is anemic so she slept until about noon, then took a nap later on. Friday evening we all played Life, with the exception of my wife. She was in the bedroom doing homework. When I informed her later that being antisocial to someone wqho is friends to both of us isn't nice, she said she didn't intend to be antisocial. Yeah whatever. My friend ended up winning the game btw. Saturday my friend had to leave to go home, so we all wished them well and safe driving, etc. They headed up towards where the hurricane is hitting. Just a hundred miles or so east of it anyway. So Saturday night my wife decides to sleep on the couch. Ok. I asked her if she was going out. She told me she wasn't. Our nephew was going to a cookout and didn't know when he would be back. About 1215 my wife came in the bedroom and got her flip flops and purse. She was in her pajamas still so I couldn't figure out what she was doing. Maybe going out to sit on the swing or something. I heard the back door open and that was it. I got curious about 1230 and went out to look and see if she had just let the cat out or something. She wasn't on the couch and she wasn't sitting on the swing. I went and looked out front and her car was gone. I wish she just wouldn't lie to me. I went back to bed. About 1:45 I heard the front door open and close, and that was it. I assumed that she had come home then and entered through the front door. Sunday afternoon I asked my wife if she made it home before our nephew did. She ignored me at first so I asked again. She just shook her head no. So our nephew knows she was out at night. I have absolutely no idea when she did come home either. I have told her that she needs to tell him what is going on, that we are going to get a divorce, etc. She is putting it off because she doesn't want her family to know. She is thinking of asking him to be her roommate, so she can at least get a better place. We went through the whole thing Saturday after my friend left, about her moving out. I ended up telling her I would pay her rent of no more than $550 a month until she finishes school if she leaves our daughter with me. She went apartment hunting Saturday afternoon. She came back several hours later, kind of in a bad mood. She motioned for me to go to the bedroom with her after a little while, and told me that she was unable to find a place for that amount. I told her that I didn't think she would be able to find a place that cheap either and that she would have to get a job. She began to lament about not being able to work and go to school, and etc. Basicly I told her tough shit. She wants out, she knows what she has to do. I'm not going to support her if she isn't my wife. Oh and she has stopped wearing her wedding ring. I asked her about it, and she said she does wear it, but not all the time. I told her if she wasn't going to wear it then she needed to put it on my dresser like she agreed to do. She stated that she wasn't finished wearing it. I got nosy and started looking in her jewelry box for it. It isn't in there. So either she is keeping it in her purse or somewhere else. I don't know if that is her way of hiding it from me or trying to hurt me by not wearing it around me. I don't know anymore. I accidentally slipped on Sunday during our discussion and told her that the comments on my blog were not favorable to her. I realized my mistake right after I said it when she asked what a blog was. Oops. I told her it was my diary and that I wasn't telling her what it was because I didn't want her reading it. I don't know if she will be curious or not, but I guess she will let me know in her own way if she does find it.

Butterbone. Thank you for your comments. They are correct and on the money. Logically I should have kicked her ass out a long time ago. I know this, but when I married her I gave her my heart. Unfortunately she still has it. Even though she treats me the way she does, I still love her very much. It bothers her and makes her cry when we start discussing things and I point out that most men would have kicked her out a long time ago, I would have also if I didn't love her still. She knows how much she hurts me and that is why she wants to leave me, but can't leave me because she has no money, no job, and so she says, no place to go. I have told her that if she can go "hang out" all night at someone else's house, then she has somewhere to go. A spot of contention there. I realize that a divorce is imminent, and everyone is going to get hurt, but I still have a shred of hope that things will change.


I better post this monster. I will try to post the pictures later on this evening, if I'm not otherwise engaged. Tell your love that you love them and make a nice day!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Guilt

I am sitting here thinking about going over to Orlando tonight and starting to feel guilty for leaving my family alone. Of course my wife will either be on her cell phone or just plain gone after she puts our daughter to bed. I wish I could tell her to just pack up and leave. If I hadn't promised her that I wouldn't throw her out till after she finishes at least her Associates degree I probably would. I have been thinking about telling her I'll give her $550 a month and make her car payment for her if she just leaves and doesn't take our daughter with her. It would hurt tremendously at first and I don't know how my daughter would take it, but it would probably be better in the long run.

Now why do I feel guilty? It is almost to the point of my cancelling it and staying at home. My finger does feel naked without my ring on it. I guess it is a sort of security blanket. I keep trying to finger it like I always do and then remember it isn't there.

Time for a meeting. Again. This sucks. Make a nice day.

I'm a doormat

Well she did it to me again. After we put our daughter to bed last night she left. She came home at 0550 this morning. Pissed me off. She came in and went in the bathroom, changed into her pajamas and then tried to crawl into bed with me. Unfortunately I was comfortable and spread out on the bed, so she had to push me and then ask me to move. I asked her why and she said she wanted to lay down. I was so pissed off that she would try to pretend that nothing is wrong. I almost told her to go lay down on the fucking couch! Sorry, I guess I am still upset. I decided to get up instead and drink my coffee. I forgot to turn off my alarm so when it went off 5 minutes later she had to deal with it. I remembered that today is PT day when I was in the bathroom getting ready to shave and start my day. Good thing I remembered.

So anyway, I have decided to spend a couple of days at Disneyworld starting tomorrow. That means I won't have any posts for the next few days. I have a friend who just finished a 6 month missionary trip to Ecuador taking his new friend there, and he asked me to come with. I had initially figured on not going because they should have some time to themselves, but I just can't stand to be at home right now. I did take my wedding ring off this morning. I put it on my keychain. It is the first time I have "taken it off" in more than 11 years. Sorry folks, but I am having a bit off a rough morning. I promise I will post more later. Make a nice day.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Dreaming in color

When I was much younger I used to have a lot of dreams in color. I would never remember these dreams until I had the Deja vu thing happen, and then my dream would come true in what seemed like slow motion. As I got older this happened more infrequently. The reason I am telling you this is because Saturday night it happened again.So far it hasn't come true, and I doubt that it will since I can still remember it. The dream was, I was sitting in church and a FHP officer came in with my nephew. When they came over to me, I got up and went to the back. The officer then informed me that my wife had been killed. That is pretty much where the dream ends, other than me informing the congregation what had happened and then leaving. I don't remember how she was killed in the dream though. It seems like there were a couple of different splits from the dream about that. One was a car accident, another was a murder at the shelter that she volunteers her time feeding the homeless. I guess it could have been subliminal desires that fed that dream, but I don't know.

So Saturday evening was quiet for the most part. My wife went to the beach Saturday afternoon and stepped on a wasp which stung her, so she came back earlier than she wanted. I had to check her foot and I put a bag of frozen peas on it to keep the swelling down. I proceeded to make most of the dinner, Steamed Broccoli, baked potatoes, rolls, and salads. I had made the marinade for the steaks and put them in earlier in the day when I got back from my bike ride. My wife came out and cooked the steaks on the grill. I admit, I'm not a grill guy. I can never get anything cooked right on the damn thing. So we sat and ate and had a nice dinner together. Then afterwards my wife told me she was going back to the beach for a while. Fine, see ya. I went to work on some more of my homework. I actually managed to get some decent sleep Saturday night. Sunday morning I feel my wife get out of bed early and go get some coffee. Then I hear a bang and the sound of something breaking. All I could think of was I hope that wasn't the coffee pot again. Then maybe it was her dropping a coffee cup. Turns out it was a glass the nephew brought with him. He worked at a restaurant and snagged a couple of the tempered glasses. He got them because they are damn near impossible to break. He said that he had seen them thrown against a wall and not break. Well my wife knocked one over on the counter and broke it. It didn't fall to the ground, or the sink, it just tipped over and broke. No wonder we never use real glasses anymore. Plastic cups for us. So when I came out to get coffee, she is writing a note that she broke the glass and to be careful of glass shards. She was going to the shelter to feed homeless people. My dream didn't come back to me at that time yet. She left with me telling her to be careful again. So anyway, I am sitting in church and my dream comes back to me. It wasn't quite right, but it was close enough to trigger my dream memory. I got really scared and kept looking to see if a FHP came in the church. One never did, but it scared me just the same. When I got back I decided to go to the beach for some sun. My wife told me that she wanted to go get some new glasses and then hit Wal-Mart if I wanted to go. HUH?! Ok. She said she wanted to leave in about 45 minutes, and since I was already sunscreened up, I decided to go ahead and go to the beach. My nephew decided to go with me and get some swimming done. Works for me. We were there for about an hour. He had gotten out of the water and we were heading to the car and saw something pink down the beach a little ways and he was interested in checking it out. So we walked down toward it and then saw something a little farther down that we had to check out. DAMN! This girl was probably 6' 3" and thin. Not anorexic thin, but not "big-boned" either. Wow. We went home shortly after that. My wife was waiting just inside the door when we got back. She had that look that said, "I have been waiting and I'm not happy." Tough. If it had been just me, she wouldn't have waited. So My nephew and I both showered and dressed to go. We made it to Lenscrafters and helped her pick out her new frames. Then the waiting began. We waited for about a half hour then my wife told us to go across the street to the mall and she would call me when she was ready. So we went and walked around the mall. My nephew saw a bunch of stuff that he liked, but since there is no "doorman" at the mall to check id's he wasn't touching. Good idea.After our third lap we decided to go back and wait with my wife. She was just finishing up when we got there, so we headed to Wally World. By this time we were all hungry, and we passed her favorite BBQ place. We almost stopped and ate there but skipped it. We split up at the store, my wife took our daughter and I stuck with my nephew. We came across some real life honest to goodness trailer trash. This woman, was in a bikini and had a BIG tattoo on her lower back. Most women have pretty lower back tattoos. This woman had a naked woman spread out on her lower back. When I say naked, it was all there for everyone to see. Shaved. She wasn't even pretty. This post is getting way too long. Time to shorten it. We went home, had dinner, daughter played in the sprinkler, we worked on homework. I ended up having to get my wife to help me with some word problems and find the stupid shit I couldn't figure out. Other than that it was a quiet evening. Sorry for taking up so much time to bore you to death. Take the time to tell someone you love them today. Make a nice day. And hugs to everyone.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Late night

So last night when I got home from work, I come in and say Hello to my wife who is on the computer. She didn't acknowledge me at all. I went into my bedroom and changed out of my uniform. I come back out and she has gone outside to sit on the swing. I said screw it and grabbed my stuff, asked my daughter if she wanted to go to the beach with me, (she declined), and left. When I got home, she had cooked dinner and they were eating, so I got my plate and sat down. She didn't hardly say anything to me then either. No conversation at dinner for me. So after dinner, I cleaned up and as I am finishing it my wife comes into the kitchen and tells me she is taking our daughter to the park. Sounds like a good idea to me. I needed to do some whomework and could use the quiet. About an hour later she comes rushing into the house and says, "They can fix my phone for me if I go now. Bye." And starts to leave. I had to ask, "Where's xxxxx?" Turns out she was just outside still washing sand off. I thought that my wife had left her at the park by herself. So she leaves and comes back about an hour later. I had moved into my bedroom to do homework because the sound of Nickelodeon in the background disturbs me. SHe comes into the bedroom and they had given her an entirely new phone and she had to play with it. Noisy damn thing. Anyway, she ended up going outside. I went to bed at 10. At 10:30 her best friend calls on the house phone. I get up and go to tell her that her friend is on the phone. Turns out she is on her cell phone and wants me to be her messenger boy. I told her friend that she would have to call her back. What irritates me, is that this friend had her husband cheat on her and get a venereal disease, and she knows all about my wife cheating on me. How can this woman who was hurt by infidelity, condone it when her friend does it? And yes I know that her friend knows. So my wife finally comes in the house and she has learned to shut the door quietly so it doesn't wake me up, but she hasn't figured out that letting the screen door slam shut is not quiet. So I catch bits and pieces of her conversation, I hear my name quite a bit and then laughter. Yeah paranoia has set in. Then I hear a comment about how she is waiting for a phone call. Hmm. 1210 I hear her cell phone ring and her tell her friend, "There he is. I gotta go." Then she answers her cell and says something about calling back on her other phone. Then she proceeds outside, slamming the screendoor again, and has a long conversation with "him". I finally hear the screendoor slam again telling me that she has come in. It is close to 1 am now. She comes into the bedroom and gets her stuff, then goes into the bathroom and does her nightly routine. Then my nephew comes in the front door, and they have a long conversation that I finally managed to fall asleep during. I finally dragged my butt out of bed about 7:45 this morning and had my coffee, then got ready to go for my bike ride. So I had a nice ride and as I got clse to home, I stopped at the beach near the house. There was this cute little redhead there laying out. MMMMM, yummy. I wish I had the courage to talk to her. Maybe next time. If there is a next time. Anyway, when I got home, I asked my nephew if he liked redheads. I told him he should probably go up to the beach and see what he could see. Off he went. Brave young man that he is. He comes back about a half hour later, and tells me that she is too skinny for him. I forgot that he had been living with a hispanic girl for the last five years. He likes a little more cushion I guess. Nothing wrong with that. I just know that I have a thing for small, petite women. Redheads also. Combine the two, and I need to clean up myself in just a couple of minutes. And that has been the last 18 hours of my life so far. Here I am writing in my blog to try to help myself get it all out. Ya'll take care and tell someone you love them. Make a nice day!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Quiet time

Well yesterday was fun. I left work early so I could eat before I had to go to school. When I get home, I notice that my wifes car is gone and so is my nephews. OK fine, I can get a sandwich for myself no big deal. I go to open the door and my 9 year old daughter opens it for me. WTF!? I couldn't believe it. She did it again. She went and left her all by herself! I was so pissed off. At 1630 I called her on her cell phone to find out if she planned on coming home so I could go to school. She was already on her way and would be home in a few minutes. I asked if she had anything for dinner since there were no leftovers. She said no, but she could pick something up if I wanted. I told her not to worry I would just stop by BK on the way to class. Well she didn't get home until 15 til 5. My class starts at 5. By the time I got to BK it was 5 minutes til, so I decided to skip dinner and eat afterwards. When I got home, the door was open but no one was home. Her car was there, but no one was home. I figured they went to the park or something. I started on my homework, and then said screw it and went to Taco Bell. Yay! Taco Bell at 8 pm. Good for the stomach. I stopped at the beach on the way back and sat and watched the moon come up. When I got home, they were back and as I start preparing my chicken burrito my wife comes sniffing around saying "That smells pretty good" well Duh! I told her it had rice in it so she decided she didn't want to steal it. After I ate, we put our daughter to bed and I had to bathe the cat. That is a shitload of fun right there! The cat has gotten so fat that she can't wash her back end anymore. She only weighs 18 pounds. So I carry the cat in the bathroom and shut the door and the cat knows something is up that she ain't going to like. I took her straight to the bathtub and put her in. Lots of meowing and growling and hissing commenced. I managed to wash and shampoo the back half of her, before I decided that was enough. Then I had to dry her as best as she would let me. I kept putting her on the mat and trying to dry her, but she kept going to the door to try to get out. I finally decided to dry her by the door where she couldn't move around. When I figured she was dry enough I let her out, and then tried to go do my homework. ( at night is not the time to figure out that your homework consists of 70 word problems in Algebra. I said screw it and went back to the bedroom where my wife was working on her homework. She proceeded to tell me that she didn't understand anything of her Spanish and wanted help with it. Well I don't speak Spanish, but I did live in Brownsville, Texas for 4 years when I was growing up. I managed to pick up a few words here and there. So I proceeded to help her and I was surprised at how much I actually knew. I managed to go to bed about 10:30. She went out to the living room or computer then so I actually got to go to sleep. This morning about 5:30 she tells me to quit tossing and turning, so I told her to let me snuggle with her or shut up about it. She didn't say anything else. When I was getting ready for work I was in the bathroom shaving and she comes in and gets in the shower. She knows full well that I will be getting in the shower as soon as I finish shaving. So I proceeded to take a shower with her. I washed her back and she washed mine. I couldn't convince her to wash my front or allow me to wash hers, but hey at least I tried! :) I guess I need to do some work. I have a crap load of stuff I need to do on the training plan that I have been putting off, so I need to go. Make a nice day!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Meetings

First thing this morning I got roped into a meeting. That sucks. I didn't even really need to be there. I have to take the cat to the vet here in about 15 minutes so this should be a fairly short post. Yesterday after work, my nephew volunteered to make Shrimp Pasta for dinner. It was pretty good. I cleaned up after dinner and sat down to read through my algebra some since class was cancelled Tuesday. I was sitting there thinking about going to the beach a reading there when my wife speaks up and tells me that she is going to go to the beach and read there. Guess I didn't speak up soon enough. Oh well. Other than that it was a fairly quiet evening. Of course there was the 3 am going to the bathroom of my wifes that woke me up. As she came out of the bathroom she picked up her two cell phones and goes into the living room. I can only assume that she is checking her messages and voicemail at that time. She was gone maybe 10 minutes before she came back to bed. When I was heading out to come to work this morning, I told her goodbye, and she didn't say anything, so I said it again and looked at her to see if she heard me. She just looks at me and goes back to watching the news. I think I need to bring some girl home and upset my wifes little world. I need to post this and go take the cat to the vet. Make a nice day!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Friend

I emailed a friend that I haven't talked to in about 8 months to verify that her address was still the same because I was going to send her flowers for her birthday next week. Turns out she volunteered for a one year temporary duty in Iraq. She got there this past weekend. I guess I won't be sending her flowers for her birthday. All I can do is tell her to keep her head and butt both down. I wish I had known about this earlier.

House

I have been contemplating buying a house after we finally separate or divorce. Problem is, this area that I am in is supposedly #3 on the hottest market list right now. That translates into a 3 bedroom 2 bath house that was built in the early 60's with no yard to speak of and no upgrades costing close to $400K. That is way out of my price range. The military just isn't paid that well. I could search for one farther away, but doing that would mean in order to find one that I can afford that isn't a trailer, I would have a daily drive to work of almost an hour. I can't afford the gas to do that. Besides I like living 2 blocks from the beach. The only problem with staying where I am is that when I retire from the AF in 3 years, I will have to find somewhere else to live. Maybe we will get some more hurricanes and a bunch of people will decide to move somewhere else because of them.

So this morning my wife asks me when I want to work on the divorce paperwork. I have been asking her to start on the paperwork for awhile now and she kept saying that she wanted to finish her class last semester before even thinking about it. Well she finished it and then yesterday she started her new classes. I told her that when she wanted to work on the paperwork then she could bring it out and ask me to work on it with her. So I had a quiet morning other than that. Does anyone know anything about rotating custody? How it affects tax returns, etc? I guess I need to go talk to the legal office about it and see if they know anything. I guess I need to do some work. Make a nice day and tell someone you care for them.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Work Sucks

I could definitely stand to win the lottery. Here in Florida it is up to 22 million. I think I could live off that for a year or two. Yesterday was ok. I came home from work, and made dinner. Actually I heated up leftovers. Sort of. I had leftover spaghetti, my daughter wanted a salad and a hot dog, and my wife chose to grill a hamburger for herself so she could finish off the mushroom swiss stuff we had. Hmm. Anyway, she sat outsidde looking at her new Biology book, and I surfed the web while my daughter paid attention to the babysitter,(TV). Our nephew showed up about 9 pm and I helped him unload some stuff from his car. I then went out and informed my wife that he had shown up. She was busy text messaging on her new phone. She comes in and gives him a hug starts to ask him a question and her cell phone rings. She answers it in mid sentence, then walks back inside then through the house to the backyard. She stayed there for about a half hour. I figure that is rather rude, but I can see where she is placing importance of family in her life. This is her sisters boy, not mine. Oh well. He'll see what is going on sooner or later. So later on she came to bed. She had to come back to mine, because he is here now. Consequently I didn't sleep well because I didn't want to upset her. I think I should just forget about whether or not she is comfortable and get comfortable myself. If she doesn't like it she can sleep on the couch. This morning when I got back from PT she was getting ready for school. She is taking two day classes this semester because that is the only way we could swing her classes and mine without conflicts. As it stands now we both have class on Tuesday nights so we are going to have to depend on our nephew to watch her for a couple hours. We actually had a nice morning talking while we were both in the bedroom and bathroom. I guess I need to go pretend to do some work. Make a nice day.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Prostitution

Well I had an interesting if fairly uneventful weekend. Friday was the Junior Enlisted Picnic at the base pool. It started at 1100, so we were released to go to it at 1030. Yeah I know, rough work hours. So I get to the picnic and got my food and found a good table at the corner of the pool. Prime spot for people watching. I had been there probably 15 minutes when one of my guys comes by and tells me that they are sitting over there. I thought about it and said screw it, and got up to move. One of my friends comes up at that point and asks me to hold the table for him, so I sat back down and waited. He comes back with food and we sat and talked. His wife showed up a few minutes later, and then about 10 minutes after that, two of her friends show up. Both of them are knockouts. Unfortunately they are both military and married. It was very nice to talk to them and look at them though. One was asian, and she had some serious implants. They were huge on her. Nice low cut blouse too. I eventually left and went home. Since it was so nice I decided to go to the beach. My wife and daughter didn't want to go so I went by myself and did some more watching. I guess I am a voyeur. I would rather watch beautiful women than talk to them. Maybe I am subconsciously protecting myself from getting hurt by not talking to them. I guess I will eventually work up my courage again. When I got home from the beach, my wife and I got to talking in the bedroom while I showered and dressed. She is trying to figure out how to get me to help her pay for an apartment. I told her I would let her earn it from me if she wanted to. She asked how. I felt like being a dick so I told her, "Five blowjobs a month. $100 bucks each." I know, too much for a blowjob. But I can count the number of times she has blown me on one hand, and have fingers left over. She doesn't care to do that. I guess she wants out badly, cause she said ok. Ummm, I think she called my bluff. I doubt she will say anything more about it, but if she does I think I will have to widen the scope of interaction to "Pussy, ass, or mouth." Yeah I know, I'm being an asshole. For some reason it is starting to feel good to act that way. I will have to be careful though, because that isn't who I want to be.

So Friday night she didn't go out. Surprised the crap out of me. Saturday she didn't go out. Stunned me to say the least. Last night, didn't go out. Hmm, did something happen? Did something I ask her cause her to reevaluate things? I don't know. Oh, joyful funny sidenote. Her new cell phone, the reception sucks really badly and it does some strange things. She went back to the store Sunday and the saleslady told her that her phone was possessed and she needed a new one. Unfortunately they were out of that model. So now she has to wait. HAHAHAHA!! Evil laugh. I don't know why I am getting such joy from her not having things go right for her. I suppose I just feel like being evil today. That is pretty much all I did this weekend that I can remember. If I think of something else I will post it. Make a nice day!!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Another day, another nickel

Well I slept pretty good last night. When I got home from work I had planned to go to the beach again, but Mother Nature said no I don't think so. I was thundering and lightning pretty hard. So I checked email and surfed a little, made sure my daughter did her homework. Around 4:30 I noticed that my wife was sleeping in my room with the tv on, so I started on dinner. Spaghetti with meatballs, and garlic bread. Of course my daughter refuses to eat spaghetti so I had to make her a hotdog instead. Dinner was ready a little after 5 and I went back to wake my wife up, she was awake, on her cell phone. I told her dinner was ready and when to the table and started eating. I was almost done when she came in and asked me what I had said. After dinner I cleaned up and she loaded the dishwasher, then she went outside and sat on the swing. I noticed through the window that she had her phone in her ear again. Oh well. I went back to my room to watch tv. About 10 minutes later my wife came in the room and closed the door behind her. She lays down on the bed with me and says, "How bad do you want me out of here?" Since I have never lied to her, I wasn't about to start now and told her, "I don't want you out." That kind of blew the wind out of her sails. So I asked her what she had wanted to do. She tells me that she found an apartment for $550 a month. It is a one bedroom so she wouldn't take our daughter with her, but she was wondering if I would pay for it for her. I don't think so! She wants to move out then she can F***ing move out on her own dollar! Although it would probably be for the best for our daughter to do that, but I wouldn't be able to make ends meet paying for her to have an apartment, and then maintaining my household with my daughter. So we ended up talking for an hour or so, her crying and telling me that she wasn't happy because of the pain she is putting me through. I told her I damn sure wasn't happy having to deal with her "adventures" and if it wasn't for the fact that I loved her as much as I do, she would have been kicked out a long time ago. I realize that I probably should have agreed to pay for her rent just to get her out of my house so that I can start living again, but I am a firm believer in that you should try every course of action to maintain a marriage. I went through several divorces with my mother and then my father has had several marriages as well, and I don't want to put my daughter through any pain that she doesn't have to. Maybe this is painful to me, but at least she has both parents at home. I know that isn't the best reason, but it is what I believe. Talk about rambling. Where was I going with this. Ok. So after my wife had cried and we talked, I got the paperwork that I had printed out for filing for divorce here in Florida. I told her she needed to fill it out then I would fill in my stuff as well. We are thinking of doing the rotating custody, that way we both still have primary residence or whatever, and I will be able to stay in base housing. That means that she will be able to have her own room, a good school to attend, a yard to play in, etc. My wife started crying again saying that she wouldn't be able to provide any of that for her. Well duh! After we talked some more and it was time for our daughter to go to bed, things were quiet. I ordered her text books for her for this semester. I have already told her that I would pay for her books as long as she works on her degree. I know, I'm a doormat. But I don't want my daughter to see her mother give up her chance at school just because she doesn't think she can do it. I don't want her to see her mother quit. I went to bed at 9 and my wife came into my bathroom shortly after that. She did her nightly routine instead of fixing her makeup and stuff. Then when she is walking out, she tells me goodnight. ??? She then proceeded to the other room and went to bed. I heard no doors open or close, nothing. She actually went to bed and stayed there. So I guess that is why I slept so good last night.

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I greatly appreciate them, and they help me make it through my day quite frequently. I know that I do some stuff that is self destructive and I thank you for not pointing it out to me. I wish I could help everyone else out with there problems also, but I am really not qualified. I do sometimes have a spurt of inspiration and when I do I try to help. Again, Thank You very much for your kind words and support. They really mean alot to me. Have a nice weekend. Tell the one you love just how much you do love them.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Stay out!

Well yesterday was fun. When I got home from work, I told my wife I wanted to talk to her about something, so she came back to my bedroom when I was changing out of my uniform. I informed her that her late night returns were causing me to lose sleep and it wasn't fair to me. So in order for me to be able to get a decent nights sleep if she was going to be out later than 1 am then she shouldn't come back until it was time for me to get up. She started doing the what if I stuff. I told her I didn't care what she did, as long as she doesn't wake me up anymore. I told her that when she opens the screen door and then the front door that always wakes me up. They are rather noisy. I told her if she could come in through the back door and not make any noise then fine, but I was tired of getting woken up and not being able to get back to sleep. After this discussion I told her I was going for a walk on the beach since I had been cooped up inside all day long. She said she had planned on going. I told her to get our daughter rounded up and dressed appropriately and we could all go, but I was going. She didn't want to do that. I left without waiting for anymore talk. When I got home around 5 she had decided to get pizza for dinner and went to go get it. I took a shower and got dressed then checked my email. After dinner I did some more stuff on the computer and she went out to the swing in the backyard and laid down. Eventually she came in when it started to get dark and it was time to put our daughter to bed. I watched tv till about 9 then headed for bed. My wife then asked me, "What time do I have to be home?" I told her I didn't give a damn when she came home, just don't wake me up coming in. If she was going to be later than 1:15, 1:30 then she might as well just stay the hell out. And I went to bed. She came back to the bedroom shortly after that and got a couple things then went back out to the living room. Then just like clockwork, shortly after 10 her cell phone rings, and 10 minutes later, I heard the door open and close. I didn't get woken up till about 4:50 this morning when the screen door opened. I don't know if she sat out in her car and waited or she "hung out" at her "friends" house till it was time, and I don't really care anymore, but at least she didn't wake me up so that I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards. So is it a minor victory? I feel like it is a step in the right direction. My horoscope basically told me that what I did was right and the results for today should be good also. Not that I put a whole lot of stock in astrology, but it is fun to see what it says. Make a nice day!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Shakes

Well this morning I got the shakes. My hands just won't quit shaking. I think the stress is getting to me. We had a decent evening yesterday. Turns out she got a new cell phone, an actual phone with a plan instead of the pay as you go one she has been using. That one was costing her too much money to use. Nice to know my money is being used for her to cheat on me. So after I went to bed she comes in my bedroom a little after 10 and asks if I'm still awake. I was and told her so. She tells me that she might go out for a little while. Well duh. I kinda figured that one out around 9 when she was doing her hair and makeup. She had stated earlier in the evening that she was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, but she goes out at 11 pm to visit her boyfriend. Nice. I was actually sleeping pretty good until she came home at 2:30 and opened the door. I know she was trying to be quiet, but at that time of the morning everything is noisy. I didn't fall back asleep very well. I tossed and turned and managed to look at the clock about once an hour until it was time to get up. Just to be mean I let my alarm clock go off. Hopefully it woke her up and interrupted her sleep like she does to mine. Is it wrong of me to wish for her to have an accident and die? Does that make me a bad person? I wish I had an easier time of dealing with this. This isn't really a good morning for me. Make a nice day and tell the one you love that you do love them.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

PT Day

Well its another day. Yesterday was ok after work. We talked and were civil to each other. She told me that after her class she may or may not be back early. Translation: She would be out late. Thats fine. I have come to the conclusion that she can do what she wants, as long as she is considerate of my feelings and doesn't rub my nose in it. She came in around 1 am. So after PT this morning I came home and saw that she was still gone from taking our daughter to school. The paperwork that the school sent home yesterday was gone and there was some stuff that I didn't know about that needed to be filled in. I tried calling my wife on her cell phone, but on the 4th ring she pulled up in the driveway. I ended up just asking her about it. Turns out she did look through it before she sent it back this morning. Anyway she was telling me about her test last night. She claims she froze up and couldn't remember anything and made the comment, "I always blow finals. Thats what I'm known for." So I made the comment before thinking about it, "Can I be a final?" Turns out it made her laugh, so that made me feel better. Then she says, "Come here." HUH!?! I wondered if I was going to get lucky. Turns out I have a snag in my uniform pants on my butt. Hey at least I know she looks at my butt! :) I know, I'm easy to please. So I guess I better go before my happiness goes away and I plunge into the deep dark depths of misery again. Make a nice day.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Just here

Well I'm here. I woke up again for another go at this thing called a day. Last night after we put our daughter to bed, my wife left again. She told me she would be back earlier than she was Saturday night. She did inform me of this shortly after dinner so I wasn't surprised. I wasn't as hurt by the fact that she told me would be going out later as I was by her just coming in and saying "I'm leaving, I'll be back sometime." At least I feel like she wasn't trying to hide it from me. We did talk quite a bit after dinner. She told me again that she cared for me a great deal, but that our marriage was over because we are so different. She also told me that she had not been "intimate" with anyone. She slipped a little while later by saying that he wouldn't sleep with a married woman. So either she has tried to get him into bed or they have talked about it already. My question, what do they do together for 7 hours at night? Is she lying to me? So anyway, while we were talking she asked me if there were any women that I was attracted to, the kind that I just wanted to nail and see how freaky they were. Hmmm, strange question. I guess I looked at her funny, because she basically started hard timing me for holding out on her. I admitted that there was a woman here at work that I wanted to find out how freaky she was for the sheer fact that she has a couple of piercings and a lot of tattoos. There are also rumors of her playing for both teams. Usually at the same time. I asked my wife why she wanted to know. Was she going to call her up and give me a good reference? Overall our conversation was pleasant until she left. I think she came home a little after 1 am. I vaguely recall movement in my room around that time. So how come I am such a doormat for her to walk all over?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Sunday

Another post on a Sunday! Damn I am going to have to get a life. It is storming here right now, so I may not get this posted. I figured I would put this stuff down before I go and forget about it. Yeah not likely. After church I came home and didn't say anything to my wife, I was still upset. Considering that I cried during church didn't really hekp my attitude either. I changed clothes and decided to get a haircut before I mowed the yard, so I gathered my crap and left, still without saying anything to my wife. I was gone for an hour or so and when I came back I was still upset. My wife and daughter were in their swimsuits and my wife says to me, "Want to go to the pool with us?" WTF? Did you not stay out all night whoring around? I wanted to see my daughter do her "underwater tricks" that she has been telling me about so I put my suit on and decided to go. I finally started talking to my wife, but I was still upset, so right before we went out the door, I finally told her she needed to pack and get the fuck out. Really, really soon. We weren't talking about it in front our daughter. So we didn't talk about it again until we got to the pool and then only when our daughter was out of earshot. We were there for 2 hours and talked pretty much the whole time. So now it is back to she will leave after we get into the new house and she has a job, etc. I don't know if I scared her by telling her to get the fuck out or what, but I realized later while mowing the yard that she pretty much played me to get what she wanted. After I had cleaned up from doing the yard work, I was sitting in here on the computer checking email waiting for dinner to be ready, when she came in and told me she was sorry, then pulled me up and gave me a big hug, again telling me she was sorry for hurting me. I almost broke out in tears. That was the first time she had hugged me, or told me she was sorry in a very, very , very long time. I don't know if she was trying to do damage control or what, but she damn sure knows how to play my heart. Sleep well, and dream of pleasant things.

Unhappy

Well I thought yesterday was a good day. I went for a long bike ride in the morning, then when I came home, my wife went to the gym and grocery shopping. I took my daughter to see the movie, "March of the Penguin" or something like that. I thought it was a cartoon, but it is more of a National Geographic film. When we got home my wife was gone. She got home about an hour after that. She had gone to the beach. I wanted a steak for dinner so we went to a local steakhouse. It was really good. Then we went home. She studied for a while and I watched tv. I went to bed around 9:30. I heard her cell phone ring a little after 10 and then I heard the door to the screen room open and close. About 5 minutes later she came back in. Then she came into the bedroom and got her purse and something else, said "I'll be back." "At some point." Yay. I felt like a real winner then. I finally fell asleep a little after midnight. I woke up at 0430 and went to see if she had made it back ok. Still gone. I went back to bed. At 0515, I heard the door open and then her trying to be quiet and sneak in. Didn't work. Then she comes in the bedroom and starts looking for her pajamas. The bumps the bed around and pats down the dresser, and the floor where she piles her dirty laundry, everywhere but where she put them yesterday. She finally gave up and got some clean ones from her drawer then went to the other bedroom. I layed in bed till 0630 trying to figure out what I should say or do. Finally I got up and started the coffee and surfed some porn sites. I couldn't find any good redheads anywhere so I did a google on Scarlett Keegan. That always cheers me up. I finally gave up and started getting ready for church. Yeah Yeah I know, porn and church in the same paragraph shouldn't be done. As I was shaving I heard the bedroom door open and I figured it was my daughter wanting to ask me a question, since my wife was probably going to sleep most of the morning. Turns out it was my wife. I still haven't talked to her, even after I showered and got dressed. I still have about 40 minutes before we need to leave for church, so I am trying to figure out where I can go to avoid her. I need to do my daughters hair, or at least try to. It seems as though my wife has gone into my bedroom and closed the door. I wonder if she is packing. I better go, if I keep trying to type this stuff in I am going to break down again. Make a nice day.

Friday, August 05, 2005

WOW!

I didn't think anyone but Em read my rantings. I want to thank all of you who posted comments. I know everyone wishes the best for me, but unfortunately you only have one side of the story, so making up your mind about who is the evil one in my marriage is probably a bit premature. I hate trying to make up my mind about who is right and who is wrong when I don't have the whole story. I wish I could post her point of view, but this is my blog and I post what I feel is the whole and correct story. I realize that I may be wrong sometimes, and I do get sidetracked on some issues, but I am no saint. I have made mistakes in the past and I will make mistakes in the future. I just hope that I can learn from then and be a better man because of it.

Again I thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Make a nice weekend!

Lies

So I went and played racquetball yesterday after work. When I got home my wife was doing her homework in the living room and I went to the bedroom to take a shower and get cleaned up. When I got out, she was gone. I must assume that she went to pick our daughter up from her friends house. When she got back she started cooking dinner. She put some precooked chicken fried steaks in the oven and made some mashed potatoes. When it was ready she went to the gym, and left me and my daughter to eat. Nice. So iwas sitting there watching TV and my daughter comes up to me and says, "If you stopped hogging the covers maybe momma would start sleeping with you again." So I of course said why do you think I hog the blankets? To which my daughter answered, "That's what momma told me." So that irritated me. My wife is telling lies to our daughter about why she is sleeping somewhere else. When she got home I was still irritated, so I asked her why she was telling our daughter lies. We sort of got into it, because she said she never told her that. She claims she told our daughter that she was sleeping in the other room because she wanted to. The fact that I accused her of lying to our daughter made her mad, so I asked her who I should believe? I got two different stories. Do I assume my daughter is lying to me? Or is my wife lying to me? At this point in time I have to believe that my wife is lying to me. It wouldn't be the first thing she has lied to me about recently, and probably won't be the last. So after our daughter went to bed I was doing my chores before I went to bed, and she asked if I wanted to talk to her. I said about what? So we sort of talked about it. Then she asked about what we are going to do when my friend and his friend come to visit in a few weeks. I told her I didn't know and she said she could find somewhere else to stay and I can give them my bedroom. I'll bet she already has somewhere to stay, she is just waiting for the right moment to move out. I wish she would just pack her crap and get the hell out. Leave me and our daughter to take care of ourselves and get on with our lives. But will she do that? No. She intends to take our daughter with her, and drag her through however many "friends" she acquires. No doubt it will hurt my daughter significantly. She doesn't have a job, and she doesn't plan on working full time, just part time so that she can take our daughter to school and pick her up. In this area she won't be able to afford an apartment on part time pay. Let alone electric, water, cable, etc... She said she would have to move in with someone, so I assume again that she already has somewhere in mind. And someone. Time for me to go before I start getting really wound up and pissed off. Make a nice day!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Cheating

What constitutes cheating? Having sex with someone other than your significant other? Shutting your significant other out of your life so that you can be with someone else, even though no sex is involved? Somewhere in the middle? At what point is the line crossed?

I came home from work yesterday, and as I come in the house my wife comes from the bedroom with her cell phone jammed in her ear, and hardly acknowledges me as she goes past me in the hall. Turns out she was in a hurry to get out in the screen room so she could continue her phone conversation in private. She hadn't planned anything for dinner, just left it up to me. Again. I wish I was strong enough to tell her to get the fuck out, because I've had enough. I don't know how much more I can take. Sometimes I feel like she is pushing me to see how far I will allow her to stomp all over me. The only thing is that she is starting to ignore our daughter in favor of her schoolwork, and then ignore that in favor of her friends. So her friends are more important than our daughter. It seems like I come home from working all day, just so she can go out at night to either the gym or school, or "out". Do I try to fight for custody? She has said she doesn't want my retirement, that she won't ask for the full amount of child support, etc. How long will that last? The sad part is that no matter how badly she treats me, I still can't seem to be able to talk to any women without feeling extremely guilty for being unfaithful. This is in spite of the fact that she will do it in front of me. After all, they are "just friends". Too bad these friends are more important to her than her family.

Thank you Em. Make a nice day.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Quickie

I don't really have time to type anything intoday. I am working the other shift and am in another office for the next week. Everything is pretty much the same at home. She didn't make anything for dinner last night, she went to the gym instead. She said we could make dinner ourselves, so I decided to make dinner at the Chinese Buffet down the road. My daughter likes it well enough to eat 3 plate fulls. At least I know that she won't be going to bed hungry when we eat there. My wife has school tonight so unless she cooks something we may go to BK or Wendy's. I guess I will find out in a few hours. Time to go.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The end is in sight

Well it looks like the end is in sight. My wife has started sleeping in the other room now. Our nephew is supposed to be coming to stay with us so that he can attend FIT here in town. So that means she will either have to start sleeping in my bed again, or start sleeping on the couch. I don't think she wants her family to know what she is doing yet, so she will probably be back in my bed come the end of the week. When I came home from PT this morning she was on the phone with someone. Must have been one of her "friends" since she told them about her nephew and then I heard her mention that she was thinking of moving to Orlando to take her classes there and getting a job over there. I think I have come to the conclusion that when she moves out I will file for divorce. I mean, as long as I am married to her, I would remain faithful no matter if she was living with me or halfway around the world. I still love her very much, but I don't care to live a celibate life anymore than I have to. So at lunch today she starts telling me about her class last night. She kept talking to me while I was trying to leave the bedroom in order to get some lunch. I finally gave up trying to get some lunch and sat and listened to her talking. I guess once again, Love won over food. Eventually she stopped long enough for me to get some lunch, then I came back to the bedroom and listened to her talk while I ate. I wish I could just flush my heartache away. Make a nice day.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Mondays Suck!

Yep it's true. I don't like Mondays. Maybe when I am retired I won't mind them so much, but now they suck. So this weekend wasn't too bad. Friday night my wife stayed up till 1 am. Or at least thats what she told me. I went bed and tried to lay there to watch Jay Leno, but I fell asleep. I know that my wife must have really been tired too, because when I got cold and laid up against her, she didn't pitch a fit and move away, she just laid there while I put my back against her butt and got warmed up. Much nicer when you can warm up like that and then go back to sleep. I finally got up about 745 and decided to go for a bike ride. I rode for almost two hours on a long tour around the block. I haven't checked to see how far I actually rode, but I figured my legs would be sore. They aren't, but my ass hurts from the seat. When I got home I asked if she had planned on doing anything with our daughter, she said she didn't, but she was going to the gym, so I made my daughter put her swim suit on and we went to the beach. Of course she didn't want to go, but I slathered sunscreen on her and we went anyway. She ended up having a good time. When we got home and cleaned up, my wife started giving me a hard time about wanting to watch Jay Leno the night before. Turns out Jessica Simpson was on it. I was unaware of that. She started asking some suggestive questions about Jessica, but I'm sorry, I just wouldn't go out of my way for her. Sure she's beautiful, stacked, and rich, but I don't think I could stand the ditziness. For dinner we went to a seafood place and had a decent dinner. I have had better, but this was alright. We got along well enough the rest of the evening. Saturday night I had some dreams about Jessica, no doubt brought on by my wifes comments. Sunday after church I was talking to my wife and informed her of the dreams she caused me to have about Jessica. About how Jessica had bought me a condo about two blocks from our house that costs $1 Million dollars, and basically made me a kept man for when she decided to visit. I didn't tell my wife that in the dream it was given to me as a divorce present. So we had our separate days this weekend, and last night my wife decided to sleep in the other room again. She woke me up moving around about midnight getting her stuff to go to bed. I guess she thinks that I sleep through her moving around. I am getting tired of her putting her schoolwork as a higher priority than our daughter, and then her "friends" as a higher priority than her schoolwork. I guess her friends are more important to her than our daughter. I wish I knew what was going through her head. So anyway, this week and next week, I have the early shift so I have to be at work at 0600 every morning, except Tuesdays because we have PT on Tuesdays. It is nice to get to leave at 3 in the afternoon though. I need to get back to my cubby hole in the other room where I am supposed to be for this early shift stuff. Make a nice day!