Monday, August 29, 2005

I'm back

Well I had a pretty good time at DisneyWorld. On Tuesday I planned to go directly to the hotel my friend was staying at after my class let out. I still felt guilty about not taking my daughter or family, such as it is, and ended up going home before I went over. I made sure my daughter got her shower and stuff before I left. My nephew was home watching her, because my wife and I both have class on Tuesday evenings. I left shortly after that. I got to the hotel about 9:30. We talked about stuff till almost 1 am. About 10 I had called to let her know that I arrived safely, but she wasn't home. My nephew told me that she had called and said she would be home late. Great. So the next day we went to the land of the rat. We had a good time. I took almost 70 pictures. We tried to avoid Fantasyland because of the ride that has the song that gets stuck in your head. We ended up having to go past it though, so I had my friend take a picture of me in front of it. I intend to post it here as proof that I smiled while I was there. We rode everything that we could. Space Mountain was fun. We rode Splash Mountain twice. The first time I took a picture as we crested the top for the plunge into the water. The picture that they took showed me taking a picture. I was going to get a copy of it, but they wated $17 for an 8x10. I don't think so. My friends girlfriend enjoyed the Haunted Mansion ride also so we rode it twice also. We also rode the Carousel just as you enter FantasyLand. We laughed and had fun. We didn't leave till right as the fireworks started at 9 pm. We wanted to get out before the crowds. We took the ferry back across and got to watch the fireworks from it. I tried to get pictures of them, but I didn't turn the flash off so nothing came out real good. I know stupid of me. Oh well. I had sent a text message to my wife to find out how my daughter was doing and to give her a hug and kiss from me before bed. That was my contact with her on Wednesday. Thursday we came back to my house. The hurricane was kicking the waves up and it was windy as all get out on the beach when we stopped there before going to the house. We were standing there when someone comes up behind us then starts running back toward the parking lot. I turned and looked and it was my wife. I whistled at her, and then she came back complaining that the sand was getting in her eyes because she didn't have any sunglasses. I took her to my car and got my second pair out. She visited with us a few minutes then we decided to go ahead and head to the house. I wonder now if she saw me and tried to get away before I saw her, so that she didn't have to deal with me. Oh well. My friend saw the video games I have for PS2 and he and his girlfriend started playing. They were enjoyed themselves the rest of the day. I went to school and when I got back, they were still playing and having a good time. I went in the bedroom and my wife came in there. We got to talking and I asked her if she had started looking at possible jobs yet. That started a whole "discussion". We ended up being in the bedroom the rest of the night trying to be quiet and talk things out. I felt bad because I unintentionally ignored my friend. He knows what is going on though, so he said it was ok. During the night I got cold and laid up next to her. I didn't spoon her just put my side up against her back and butt. She complained about me pushing her to the edge. I told her that if she would quit scooting away from me, and just let me get warm, I would move away in just a short time. Then she wouldn't be laying on the edge of the bed. Yesterday she told me I had cursed at her and that I do it all the time. I'm sorry but no I don't. So Friday was pretty much relax at the house. My friends girlfriend is anemic so she slept until about noon, then took a nap later on. Friday evening we all played Life, with the exception of my wife. She was in the bedroom doing homework. When I informed her later that being antisocial to someone wqho is friends to both of us isn't nice, she said she didn't intend to be antisocial. Yeah whatever. My friend ended up winning the game btw. Saturday my friend had to leave to go home, so we all wished them well and safe driving, etc. They headed up towards where the hurricane is hitting. Just a hundred miles or so east of it anyway. So Saturday night my wife decides to sleep on the couch. Ok. I asked her if she was going out. She told me she wasn't. Our nephew was going to a cookout and didn't know when he would be back. About 1215 my wife came in the bedroom and got her flip flops and purse. She was in her pajamas still so I couldn't figure out what she was doing. Maybe going out to sit on the swing or something. I heard the back door open and that was it. I got curious about 1230 and went out to look and see if she had just let the cat out or something. She wasn't on the couch and she wasn't sitting on the swing. I went and looked out front and her car was gone. I wish she just wouldn't lie to me. I went back to bed. About 1:45 I heard the front door open and close, and that was it. I assumed that she had come home then and entered through the front door. Sunday afternoon I asked my wife if she made it home before our nephew did. She ignored me at first so I asked again. She just shook her head no. So our nephew knows she was out at night. I have absolutely no idea when she did come home either. I have told her that she needs to tell him what is going on, that we are going to get a divorce, etc. She is putting it off because she doesn't want her family to know. She is thinking of asking him to be her roommate, so she can at least get a better place. We went through the whole thing Saturday after my friend left, about her moving out. I ended up telling her I would pay her rent of no more than $550 a month until she finishes school if she leaves our daughter with me. She went apartment hunting Saturday afternoon. She came back several hours later, kind of in a bad mood. She motioned for me to go to the bedroom with her after a little while, and told me that she was unable to find a place for that amount. I told her that I didn't think she would be able to find a place that cheap either and that she would have to get a job. She began to lament about not being able to work and go to school, and etc. Basicly I told her tough shit. She wants out, she knows what she has to do. I'm not going to support her if she isn't my wife. Oh and she has stopped wearing her wedding ring. I asked her about it, and she said she does wear it, but not all the time. I told her if she wasn't going to wear it then she needed to put it on my dresser like she agreed to do. She stated that she wasn't finished wearing it. I got nosy and started looking in her jewelry box for it. It isn't in there. So either she is keeping it in her purse or somewhere else. I don't know if that is her way of hiding it from me or trying to hurt me by not wearing it around me. I don't know anymore. I accidentally slipped on Sunday during our discussion and told her that the comments on my blog were not favorable to her. I realized my mistake right after I said it when she asked what a blog was. Oops. I told her it was my diary and that I wasn't telling her what it was because I didn't want her reading it. I don't know if she will be curious or not, but I guess she will let me know in her own way if she does find it.

Butterbone. Thank you for your comments. They are correct and on the money. Logically I should have kicked her ass out a long time ago. I know this, but when I married her I gave her my heart. Unfortunately she still has it. Even though she treats me the way she does, I still love her very much. It bothers her and makes her cry when we start discussing things and I point out that most men would have kicked her out a long time ago, I would have also if I didn't love her still. She knows how much she hurts me and that is why she wants to leave me, but can't leave me because she has no money, no job, and so she says, no place to go. I have told her that if she can go "hang out" all night at someone else's house, then she has somewhere to go. A spot of contention there. I realize that a divorce is imminent, and everyone is going to get hurt, but I still have a shred of hope that things will change.


I better post this monster. I will try to post the pictures later on this evening, if I'm not otherwise engaged. Tell your love that you love them and make a nice day!

3 comments:

KevinWByrd said...

I'll tell you something.
It was a bit crazy but I did it anyway.
When I found out my wife was cheating on me, I went to him the guy directly.
I was cool to him, talked him into talking her into leaving the kids with me and signing over full custody.

I pointed to the idea that they would be starting fresh.
New life, freedom, low responsibilities. And if it was going to work out for them, they would need that flexibility to get back on their feet after I cut her off from my bank accounts.

And it worked. Dumb Bitch signed over full custody of my sons to me without a battle at all.

That is what you should point out to your wife. That she will need the flexibility and freedom leaving your daughter with you provides. Play it like this:

"It's going to be hard enough on you working and going to school, you don't need the extra stress, and our daughter certainly doesn't need it either" Blah Blah Blah.

She even agreed to child support.
AND YOU SHOULD GET IT! Don't let her off the hook. Just make it a really small amount. A hundred a month. Tell her you won't ever actually ask for it so it doesn't matter.
Judges really dislike signing a divorce dicree without a child support amount stated.

I learned this the hard way.
The judge I had actually refused the divorce UNTIL we agreed to sign her up to pay 350 a month in child support. It started at 980 a month when he found out she was a stripper.
Then she applied for a reduction as a waitress he let her off with 350 a month.

The only thing it is good for is threatening her. Keeping her out of my hair.
If she starts getting on my nerves I remind her that she hasn't paid in over three years and unless she can hand me twelve thousand dollars right this minute as back child support, then child support enforcement will likely give her 30 days in county and start hounding her endlessly.
That shuts her ass up.

W2W said...

Well all I have to say is Welcome Back!

KevinWByrd said...

Oh yeah, get the ring back as well.

AS SOON AS YOU CAN!

When I left my ex I took her ring back.
I bought it, it was part of a contract. That ring was my collateral on a promise to provide for her, and take care of her and be there for her.

If "I LEFT HER", she keeps the ring.
If "SHE LEAVES ME", she leaves the ring as well.
Just get it as soon as you can before she sells it and tells you she lost it.
My ex actually sold two rings my family gave her after we got married. My mother gave her an emerald ring with earrings that she got when she got married and my grandmother gave her a ruby and diamond ring that she got from her aunt.
Bitch sold them both to a pawn shop to help her boyfriend get his car working after he quit his job.
My family gave her those because I couldn't afford a big wedding ring, and so my mom and grandma gave her a couple nice pieces as a welcome.