Saturday, March 26, 2005

Sorry

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I am on vacation for the next couple of weeks, because my wife had to have surgery. I am taking care of everything now that she is laying in bed. My updates will be sporadic to say the least, but when I get back to work I should be back to updating regularly. Have a nice weekend!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Jimmy Buffett Song?

Was it Jimmy Buffett who sang about "Just another day in paradise?" I don't know for sure. Today is just that though. Not much happened last night. This morning I had SAR training. That should prove to be an experience if I ever have to fulfill the task. SAR is an acronym for Search And Recovery. Basically we would go search for body parts. It could turn out to be a very disheartening experience.

Other than that it is a beautiful day here on the Space Coast! I am thinking about seeing if the wife wants to go to the nude beach tomorrow. Course she will probably say no she has to study. I will probably have homework to do anyway since I start Beginning Algebra tonight. I am starting to feel the dread build up. I have to go up to the school and pick up a bunch of cookie dough and distribute it. Sometime between 1230 and 3:15 today. Fun. My wife will be mad when she finds out that I bought 3 tubs of it myself. :P Tough! It made my daughter happy. I reckon I should go do something worthwhile. Ya'll have a nice day!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Nice day

Today has started out being pretty good. Home situation hasn't changed but oh well for now. I don't feel like thinking about it too much. We went and picked up our oldest on Saturday morning. She is having problems dealing with her step mother. Since it is spring break for her she is staying with us. I don't think she will stay with them long after she graduates in a few months. She will probably come live with us again and go to college with my wife. Of course she will have to get her drivers license finally, and then a car. Gee that should help out the car insurance bill! It is almost lunchtime, so I guess I will finish this and go have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Take care.

Friday, March 18, 2005

After Lunch

Well not too much was resolved at lunch, other than we both stated that we didn't want a divorce. She still didn't give an explanation of why she was so late coming home. If she would just explain I would be much happier. But I guess it isn't about my happiness. She did tell me that she was still bitter towards me because of the email conversations I had with my female friend that lives 8 hours away. Sha also said that she thought a divorce would be good for me because then I would be able to find someone to appreciate me. Now if I remember correctly there is something about that in the psychology of divorce. I guess I am going to have to go find that. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Shitty Morning

Well talk about a shitty start to a day! Yesterday my wife didn't even try to talk to me about where she was Wednesday night, just pretended that nothing was wrong. I waited all evening for her to explain, but nope, nada, zip, zilch, nothing! I went to bed about 10 PM and don't know when she came to bed. This morning I sat and waited for her to give me some kind of explanation, but still nothing. I finally broke down and called her on it, how come all she did was call me from her cell phone while she was at the gym and say she was sorry? Why couldn't she do it face to face? I gave her the chance to do so Thursday morning. I told her that an apology over the phone was like a slap in the face, something that she did because she realized I was pissed off at her so she called to try to mollify me a little. Like I was just some second thought! I asked her if she was going to give me an explanation and a face to face apology or not. So she told me that since I left without telling her goodbye she didn't get a chance. I called her on that real quick. I gave her the chance and she ignored it. I asked her if I was really that unimportant to her. I finally asked her if I should file for divorce or not. I hate this. I still Love her so very much, but it seems as though I am just seriously unimportant to her. She finally asked if we had to talk about it right then, if we could talk about it at lunch. Yeah whatever. I kissed my duaghter goodbye and came to work. So needless to say lunch should be eye opening.

BTW it appears as though my Wednesday post isn't here. It must have went into the bit bucket somewhere. I wasn't important anyway I guess.

Have a good day.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Ugly mood

I'm not in a very nice mood this morning. My wife had school last night. Her class ends at 8:45 PM. She didn't get home till 10:05 PM. She never called to say she would be late. When she got home I had just gone to bed, but she tip toed around trying not to wake me. She never checked to see if I was still awake, just assumed that I was asleep. This morning she didn't apologize or try to explain although she had a few chances to do so. At my usual time I kissed my daughter goodbye and told her to have a good day at school then left. About 0800 my wife called me at work and told me that if I had come back to tell her goodbye she would have apologized. I told her that if it had been important to her she would have called last night and let me know. She said she was sorry and me still being upset said ok. Then she tells me she has to get back to her workout, and I said, whatever. I did tell her I loved her before I hung up. I don't know if she replied to me or not because I didn't wait to find out. I don't think I am going to go home for lunch today. I wish my chaplain hadn't left...

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Beautiful Day

Today is a beautiful day on the Space Coast! The sun is shining the temp is in the 80's. I tested this morning and don't have to study anymore for awhile! Now all I have to do is keep my folks in line. I start my Algebra class next week though, that may be tough. I suppose I'll find out. Time to get to work. Take care.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Monday

Well the weekend was pretty much the same as it has been lately. I have been emailing with my father recently, but it seems as though I have hurt his feelings or something as he has not answered me in a couple of days. No matter, I haven't actually seen him since I was 11. I test for rank tomorrow morning, I am uneasy about how I will do. I am thinking now that I may test again next year.

My engine has started making noise. I think I bent a valve. I have been trying to adjust them but it looks like one rocker arm is crooked. I am going to have to ask some friends what they think about it. I guess that is all for today. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Great Day!

Well yesterday went really well. She loved the winerack, and was ok with the steel wine cork. The roses turned out to be very nice again. They are long stem roses in a vase, and when I say long stem roses I mean about 3 feet long! This florist I have been using has the rose thing down! I am hoping that when they open up they will be very pretty too. She was even amenable to my advances last night. I don't know when there will be a repeat performance, but it was enjoyable last night. I actually slept long enough for the alarm clock to go off and wake me this morning, which hasn't happened in a long time.

In an hour and a half I will be out of here for the weekend. We are taking off early to go play softball and drink beer. And eat some hamburgers somewhere along the way. Time to finish up my chores so I can go play.

Have a wonderful weekend and be safe!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Just another day

Today is just another day in paradise. Didn't tell my wife Happy Anniversary or anything this morning. I figure she'll get her flowers sometime before lunch which will give her a reminder about what today is. Which may give her enough time to go out and get a gift and a card for me if she hasn't already. I gave a friend of mine the web address to this blog because it was easier to do that instead of type everything that has been going on. He is actually doing missionary work in a third world country right now. Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to do something like that. Then I think about all the third world countries I have been in before and think "No thanks" I don't want to go there again. Time for me to pretend to do some work.

Take care and have a nice day.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

The Day Before

Well tomorrow is our anniversary. How it is going to go I have no idea. I actually got to snuggle this morning for a few minutes. I probably could have gone longer if the damn phone hadn't rung. Sometimes I hate being in the military. While in the shower this morning I had a pretty good entry figured out, but now I can't remember it. Oh well, I guess if I remember it later I can always add another entry.

I ordered the requisite dozen roses for her yesterday, I got her a gift from the traditional side of thought, which since it is our 11th anniversary is steel. I also got her a nice wine rack that she mentioned she liked. I suppose I will need to order some more wine to fill it up. I suppose I need to get to work or some approximation of it. Take care.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Its only Tuesday?

Seems like this should be Thursday at least. Not much has changed on the homefront. Still thinking about not bothering any more. I think the only reason to even go home anymore is because my daughter is there. I don't know what my wife wants from me. Last night she made some comment about wanting to have a certain body, except Brad Pitt's and then she wouldn't want it to be her body. I commented that it had been a long time since she wanted my body. She didn't anwer me, just blew it off. Oh well I guess I see where I stand. I need to go pretend to do something. Take care.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Giving up

I think I am about ready to give up. I just don't think I care anymore. I am tired of being lonely, being ignored at home, just being the guy who pays the bills. I am tired of not feeling loved by the woman that I love very much. This morning I tell her I love her before I leave for work and she just kind of mumbles "yeah I love you too" while she is digging for something on the floor. All day yesterday she was doing homework or she was at the grocery store by herself. I am so tired of not knowing what she wants from me.

Friday, March 04, 2005

OK day so far

So far today has been ok. Yesterday was really busy at work and I didn't leave until almost 6 pm. Some times I hate users. Homelife was about par for the course last night. She did homework while my daughter and I played video games. I was tired and went to bed about 9:30. I managed to sleep almost all night. About 0500 I woke up and moved over next to my wife. She didn't move away or get up either, so I was happy. I guess I just have to ignore her in order to get along. I meant to order my college book from amazon last night, but I didn't even turn my computer on at all. I reckon I need to do that tonight. I am starting to get nervous about the class. It has been almost 20 years since I took an Algebra course and that was in high school. Damn I'm getting old. Now today feels somewhat darker...

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Lonesome again

Had another lonely night. Actually I should say lonely morning. I went to bed before my wife and fell asleep. I woke up around midnight and snuggled with her then went back to sleep. About 0500 I woke up cold and shivering so I moved over next to her to try to warm up. I wasn't spooning with her or putting my arms around, just lying next to her. She woke up about two minutes after I moved next to her and got up to go to the bathroom. When she came back she put her knees into me which caused me to move away. So I tried to get warm in the blankets, but I still shivered until I got up. When she got up she didn't say good morning to me or anything, just acted like I wasn't there. If the bedroom furniture hadn't been given to me by my grandfather I would move into the other room. I wonder if she is doing this to me to try to force me to file for divorce in case there is some law that says I will have to pay alimony if I divorce her. So once again I am Married and Lonely.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Cold

Its kinda cold here this morning, approximately 45 degrees. I didn't think I needed a jacket this morning either so now I am sitting at my desk cold.

Last night was better than it has been at home. I helped my wife with her speech quiz, and watched tv. My wife let me snuggle with her while she was laying in bed watching tv. I fell asleep and I presume rolled away from her because she didn't jab me and wake me up telling me to move over or anything. How sad it seems that something as small as that can make me happy.

I got energetic yesterday and set up a couple of links. Hopefully the people who I linked too don't get offended by it. If so, just let me know and I will remove the link. I suppose I need to do some work. Goodbye for now.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Someone actually Reads my Blog!

I got a very nice comment today from Jehanne Dabantonne. I was very surprised to hear that someone actually takes time from their busy day to read about me. I want to thank her for her comments.

Last night was another night of despair and loneliness. I talked to my wife a little bit more before I had to go to PT this morning. It seems strange to me that she can be so sweet during the daylight hours, but when we go to bed she wants nothing to do with me. No holding hands, no snuggling, God forbid I try to initiate sex. Its gotten to the point where it is more satisfying to go take care of things myself in the bathroom! I have even started looking for a lawyer specializing in Divorce. I hope I won't need to call one.

My boss is starting to eyeball me so I better do some work. Take care.