Friday

Another day, another penny. I got my windows in my new car tinted yesterday. The guy asked me how dark I wanted them, legal, darker than legal, or black. I went with medium. I wanted to be able to see out at night!

Home life is still the same. It seems as though she is just living with me to keep a roof over her head and give her food to eat. Trying to talk to her about it is bad, because it just starts arguments about her not having time to do things like hug me or kiss me because she has some sort of homework to do. All the time. Why can't she do it during the day? What is she doing during the day that she can't do her homework then? Am I just being selfish? Why is it that whenever I give her a hug and a kiss she pushes away from me almost immediately? Is it me?

Spinning in a lonely circle

I missed posting yesterday because I got called out for an exercise with the SAR team. Lots of sitting around waiting to do not much of anything. I did manage to get my speakers replaced in my car yesterday evening. It sounds a lot better now. Still not a competition level stereo though which is fine with me.
Yesterday morning I woke up with my wife snuggled up against me. Made a nice start to the day. The rose I gave her the other day is starting to die. I think I may get her another one tomorrow. A single rose only costs $4 so I might as well. I don't know what else to type today so I will go for now. Take care and have a nice day.

Fun

Well I forgot to post anything yesterday. I was actually very busy and didn't have a chance to. I got new speakers for my car yesterday. I need to get some speaker harnesses though so I can hook them up without cutting into the stock wiring.

Home life is still shit. I have been trying and trying everything I can think of to make my wife happy and want to be around me. All to no avail so far. Last night as we were waiting for our daughter to get ready for bed we were standing in her room, my wife had nothing to do so I hugged her and gave her a kiss. She then moved away from me like she had something to do, then stood there doing nothing. When we went to bed she wasn't very pleasant, complaining about the tv being on, and then the blinds weren't right and on and on. I finally fell asleep. When I woke up this morning she was already out of bed so I just laid there waiting until I had to get up and go to PT. When I left I didn't tell her goodbye or anything, I just left. She was still home when I got back from PT. I still didn't say anything to her. After I was ready for work I left again without saying anything. Maybe I'm being petty, but I have given up trying to figure out what it is she wants from me. It seems like everytime I think I figure it out, I get kicked in the teeth again. I don't know what to do any longer. Poor pitiful me. Lost again. Have a nice day.

Feeling Lonely Again

Today is Friday and I am feeling lonely once again. If you have been reading my blog you know that my marraige isn't in the greatest condition. I am trying to save it, but I don't know if I am doing the right things. She wants her space, so I give it to her. She says I am distancing myself from her. WTF? That is what she wanted! I brought her a rose yesterday evening. She asked me what did I do? I didn't do anything! I just thought she might like a rose! I have been reading the book "Divorce Busting" by Michele Weiner-Davis. I hope to get through it far enough to get some ideas about what I should be doing. All I know for sure is that I am very lonely. Have a nice weekend.

Thursday

I hate it when I wake up and think about things. Seems like I woke up this morning trying to figure out why my wife doesn't want to have "marital relations" with me anymore. We used to go at it like rabbits, but ever since we found out about each others email friends, she has been very cold at night. In fact we have only had sex 3 times since the beginning of the year and I don't remember the last time before then. I wonder what I can do besides take care of my own business. I have to remember to call her in a few minutes and tell her to get some frontline flea stuff for the cat. I found a flea on me when I walked into work today. I don't know where it came from, but I can't stand them. Now my mind keeps telling me the little blood suckers are crawling all over me. I hate that feeling. Time to go. Take care of yourself!

Where am I

I guess I am just feeling lost today. I have no idea what I am doing anymore. I had a test in algebra last night on word problems. There were only four questions on the test. I thought I tanked it. I had to buy a hint from the instructor for 5 points. I ended up getting a 98 on it. Everyone in class had a problem with that one so I think he gave points back from it. I won't complain. Things at home are still not perfect. I actually woke up not freezing this morning. (I added another blanket to my side last night!) So it was actually nice not to wake up shivering. I guess I better get to work. Have a nice day!

Another day

Just another day here. Had mandatory PT this morning. We played dodgeball. It was a lot of fun. As it turns out the housing office turned all the water off to south housing this morning and it should be out all day. Lovely. I had to shower at the showers at work. At least they aren't gang showers. Time to do something. Take care.

Weekend is over

Well the weekend is over. I bought a Nissan Altima on Saturday, now my wife is harping on me about selling my Oldsmobile. I think I will put it on 442.com tonight. I will ask for $10K and settle for $7500 I think. I should be able to get it easy enough. Now I also need to buy some speakers for the new car and get the windows tinted. The current speakers sound like they are blown. Guess it is time to do some shopping. Take care.

Lost

Well last night was fun. I didn't talk to my wife all day. I walked to school after work and figured I would be walking home after that. No big deal it's only a couple of miles. So right at the end of class my wife sticks her head in the door of the classroom and asks if I can leave early! I was surprised. So I got up and left, when we were walking out to the car she starts in on me because I was supposed to leave school early so that she could go to some play for her english class! Needless to say I don't remember her telling me anything about it since she first mentioned that she might go to this thing about a month ago. I just don't know what to do anymore. This morning she asked me if she had to take me to work. I told her not to worry about it and left. One good thing about living in military housing, someone is always heading in the same direction you are.

Guess I better go. Take care of yourselves.

Fight Fight Fight!!

It wasn't a good morning on the Space Coast. My wife started in on me about having to take me to work. HUH?? Yesterday she said not to go car shopping till this weekend because she could take me to work no problem. WTF?!? Does she just feel the need to start fights? What the hell is going through her head? How much you wanna bet that Saturday she will say I shouldn't go car shopping for some reason or other? If she does that I will just go by myself. I guess I will be walking home tonight after school. I hope ya'll have a better day than mine is starting out to be.

Car Shopping

Looks like I will be going car shopping this weekend. I was checking cars out on the internet and came across one that interested me so I called the car salesman up and inquired about it. He told me he thought it had some electrical problems in the dash. Hmm, what kind of used car salesman is this honest? Either he has another car that costs more that he wants to push off on me or he is disgruntled with the dealership he works for and doesn't want to sell any cars. I guess I will go see about it on Saturday. Have a nice day!!

Pissed

I think I am going to sell my car and get something else. I have a 1970 Olds Cutlass. I love my car, but I have had it since high school. The AC doesn't work, the heat doesn't work, I have to manually roll the windows up and down, and it seems like I am always working on it trying to keep it running. I think I now have a blown head gasket since my radiator is emptying itself, but there is no water under the car. I am thinking the head gasket is blown because it is getting hard to start, sometimes not starting at all. It is getting unreliable to say the least. So I am seriously considering selling it. I could probably part it out and make more money from it, but I don't really want to do that. I guess I will be walking to school from work today and then walking home. This sucks.

Work

Well I am back to work. Such as it may be. Didn't really want to come back to work, but I have to. My vacation time was ok for the most part. My sister called and is going to lose her kids to Child Protective Services or something. She asked if I would take them. I am willing to, but my wife said no. Not just no, but Hell No! So I guess that my nieces and nephew, will be put up for adoption. It may be in their best interest in the long run. Still a shitty thing to do. My wife and I are still "living together". I won't say we are a happy loving couple, but I haven't given up yet. I finally broke down and told my mom what was going on, although she only got an abbreviated version. Actually I think this place is the only place who has gotten pretty much the whole story as well as my feelings. I know she has checked up on me, because last Thursday when I was at school,someone logged into my Yahoo mail account from my computer. The history file was also open in my Internet Explorer. Since I was at school and she is the only person besides myself that knows my password, it had to be her checking up on me. I haven't called her on it, since I haven't done anything wrong or emailed anybody she didn't know about. She does still lock her computer when she isn't at it. She changed her password too, so if I want to know what she is doing on her computer I will have to crack her password. Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to do that though. Although I have decided that I would rather be a mushroom and not know what she is doing. I hate this being lonely though.