Crap

I haven't been able to get to blogger from work lately so it is putting a big crimp in my blogging! I know I have put off blogging some things because I just can't seem to get them situated in my head well enough to write them coherently. I'm not ignoring my blog, just having some problems. Yes I know I am fucked up. I know that the one woman in this world that I truly love, no longer loves me. That tears me up. Why? Because if I had paid attention to the little things I would not have lost her. Then again, if I changed myself to be what she thought she wanted me to be, would she again decide that she didn't want me? I think I need a shrink. I know I need to get the divorce finalized, but then how will she survive? Why do I even care what happens to her? How will it affect my daughter? How will it affect me? How do I go on and make something of myself? I have 3 years until I can retire from the military, then I have to get another job. Do I stay where she is if I don't get my daughter? I actually like the area that I am stationed at right now. The Space Coast of Florida is very nice and has some interesting things to do. You just have to be able to get a job that can pay you enough to live here. The old people from up north have driven the cost of living way up! Since this was a post I started the other day I suppose I need to go ahead and post it. Kiss your special someone and tell them you love them. Remember that you can choose to have a nice day or to make a nice day. I choose to try to Make a nice day!