Monday, June 27, 2005

Divorce or Separation?

What a shitty weekend. Actually the weekend was ok, just last night that sucked. A couple of years ago when I was Saudi Arabia, I had a gold chain made for my wife. It is a 30 inch belly chain. Very nice, 18kt gold. When I put it on her I asked her to not ever remove it. It didn't last long. After a couple times at the gym she stopped wearing it to the gym because she was afraid she would lose it. OK I could deal with that. A few weeks ago, she took it off and didn't put it back on, just left it in the bathroom. A couple of days ago I got tired of seeing it in the bathroom every time I went in there. It felt like a slap in the face every time. I put it away. I was going to put it in her jewelry box, but I didn't want to get it tangled up with all the other stuff I have given her. So I ended up putting it in her night stand with some of the other jewelry that is too big to go in her jewelry box. Last night she finally noticed that it was missing and asked me where I put it and if I had taken it back. I told her that I had gotten tired of being slapped in the face every time I went in the bathroom so I put it away. That precipitated a fairly long discussion. Short story, she is "hanging out" with some friends, but she isn't cheating on me. She won't tell me who, she won't even admit if they are male or female. Not that it matters. We talked alot of things out, and she is going to start looking for a job when school starts so that she can get a place of her own and stop taking advantage of me. We haven't fully worked out child custody, I need to talk to some people here on base about that stuff. She feels guilty for giving me false hope and doesn't want to hurt me so that is why she has been dissappearing for long lengths of time. She won't be able to do it so much now that our daughter is back. I told her that if she told our daughter she was going to the beach she damn sure better be prepared to take her to the beach with her and not just tell her no and leave her crying at home again. I told her to be honest about it. I did lose my temper once last night and told her to get the hell out. That was toward the beginning of our talk though. She will be staying until she has a job and can afford a place to live, which around here may be a long time. Maybe things will work out in the future, but I am not optimistic at this point. I am feeling very lonely again.

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