Weekend

Well the weekend is over. Friday night we went to dinner at the Olive Garden. After we got home, I went and rested on the bed for awhile, and my wife studied in the living room. About 7 she comes in and says she is going to the beach, she'll be back in a little while. Uh huh. Our daughter goes to bed at 9. I had to put her to bed by myself. She kept asking where momma was and when would she be coming home. She kept getting up out of bed and finally asked if momma was coming back ever. I know she feels that something isn't right at home, but there is nothing her or I can do about it. When my wife came home about 10, I told her she needed to talk to our daughter because of what she had asked. I don't know if she did or not since I was already in bed. Saturday was a birthday party that our daughter went to. They had a bowling party. My wife and I actually had a good time together bowling. She did call me Honey, but I don't know if it was to "keep up appearances" or not. It made me feel good either way. So anyway we left our daughter at the other girls house so they could play for awhile. My wife went grocery shopping and I sat at the house. About 3 my daughter called and asked to be picked up at 4. No problem there. My wife got home from the grocery store about 3:30 and I told her what our daughter had requested. At 5 till 4 my wife is on her cell phone and says to me, "Can you pick up KKKKKKK?" I have to go somewhere for about 10 minutes. Yeah right. I wanted to ask "10 minutes your time, or 10 minutes real time?" But once again I didn't. She left still on the phone, and I went and picked up our daughter. When we got back it was 15 minutes later and no wife. Big surprise. Half hour later she comes home and says, "sorry" Yeah I could feel the sincerity in that. Rest of the evening was pretty much stay in your corner and I'll stay in mine. I went to bed and was trying to stay awake for SNL, but didn't make it. So everything is all quiet at 0345 in the morning, when suddenly her cell phone receives a text message. I have requested that she turn it off at night because I don't want to get woken up by it. She actually gets up takes her phone and goes in the bathroom to read it and probably answer it. She carries this damn phone around with her everywhere like it is a security blanket. If these are "just friends" why does she feel the need to do this? I have "just friends" but I don't wait for them to message me. So Sunday, I take our daughter to church and my wife took herself to the beach. Again. She was actually home by the time we got back from church. I decided to take some personal time myself and changed into shorts and a t-shirt and just left. I didn't even bother to say goodbye or anything. I went to the beach found a nice quiet place away from everyone else, and sat there and cried. I can't even tell you what started it, but I was sitting there and it just started. So after about an hour, I went home and mowed the yard. Sweating profusely covers up evidence of crying by the way. I went in and cooled down, then took a shower. Dinner turned out to be a pasta and lettuce salad. After dinner she decided to go sit out on the swing and do her homework. I looked out there after about a half hour and she is on her cell phone, chatting away. Homework my ass, she just wanted to be able to talk to her "friends". I kept my mouth shut and went to bed about 10 pm. I turned the tv off about 10:45 and went to sleep. When she came to bed I don't know. This morning as I was getting ready for work and she was still sleeping, I told her how I was feeling. I know that she didn't hear me, but I have to be able to tell her how I feel once in awhile, without making her mad and running away. I just wish that I didn't really love her as much as I do. I wish I could just shut my emotions off, and pretend that I don't love her anymore. Make a nice day.